Colorado is red
Violets are blue
Conference 4 of 4
I’m through, I’m through
I won’t tell you about falling down the escalator at the Detroit Metro Airport.
I won’t tell you about walking in the men’s restroom twice.
I won’t tell you about dropping my camera in the toilet as I took off my jacket in a stall for stick figure people.
I won’t tell you about standing 10 feet from a bear.
But I will tell you the rest.
Okay, the bear sighting isn’t true (though a few people at the conference saw them). The other three events nearly happened so they are, well, half true. I was up at 3am when I left so the falling down part is probably 2/3rds true. Trundling can always lead to falling. Praise rubber soles.
This conference started off with a laugh. The flight attendant (hereafter FL) on Frontier flight 628 from Detroit to Denver was downright hilarious. Waiting for two people to board the plane, he asks me if I want to hear some industry gag stories while we wait. Of course! So doesn’t he tell me that nearly all senior FLs ask junior FLs to do “an air quality control test,” one that requires them to move around the cabin with an open garbage bag, secure it, label it, and store it so that it can be delivered at their destination city for testing. I can’t believe anyone would fall for that but he says they nearly always do. His favourite, he shares, is when the pilot and co-pilot are in cahoots with the senior FLs who tell the junior FLs to get urine samples from the pilots. Mini cups filled with, you guessed it pineapple juice, the junior FL comes back with the cups and the senior FL asks, “whose is whose?” and the junior FL is embarrassed to not have thought to ask. “No matter,” he says, and promptly drinks one of the cups in front of the junior FLs saying, “I’ll taste it to find out.” Apparently, one time a senior female FL, a real skinny minny, hoisted herself up in the overhead bin compartment to freak out a stuffy pilot with no sense of humour.